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Old Wounds Offer New Hope, by Sarah Knepper

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We are thrilled to introduce Sarah, who we met on Facebook in a dynamic group of people called: Women Leading Women.  Thanks so much for sharing your story and hope today!!

Old Wounds

It was December 26th and our family was still basking in the all joy of Christmas Day. I grabbed the pile of neglected mail on my way to the couch. The first letter was addressed to me from the Child Support Office in Tennessee.

You see, I was married before. I had three children with the man I believed was my one and only. Then life changed and over five years of our marriage my ex-husband developed a crippling drug addiction.

Twelve weeks after our third child was born, my husband left us. I was devastated, but after three years of single motherhood I remarried in 2012 and my husband adopted my three children in April 2014.

Five years have passed since I last spoke with my ex-husband. Rumors were whispered about his time spent in jail, rehab, and living on the streets.

So as I opened the envelope, I thought nothing about what was inside.

I read the words typed out for me, but didn’t process the meaning. I read them again. The third time around, I yelled for my husband.

The papers said my ex-husband was in a drug rehab facility and would soon be working. I grabbed my phone to call the office and was informed of the total arrears owed before the adoption occurred.

It’s almost equal to the amount my husband makes in a year.

I was shocked! The woman on the phone told me how lucky I was. She said too many fathers don’t ever pay and will go to jail to avoid this responsibility. She congratulated me, but I did not feel lucky.

I will believe this when the money is in my account. It’s too good to be true.

This past week I received another letter stating my ex-husband had indeed gotten a job. But the child support office never updated the adoption information so my ex-husband was scheduled to pay me arrears and current child support. The letter did not list where he was living.

I felt my palms sweat, my pulse race.

Where does he live?

Why hasn’t our case been updated?

Will he try to find the kids?

And then a verse began circling those questions.

“Fear not for I am with you..” Isaiah 41:10

I wrote the words over and over on my daughter’s Hello Kitty notepad.

I called the employer listed, and as I spoke with the secretary about his employment I began to cry.

The gaping wounds healed by Jesus became ripped open once more.

My fears were coupled with memories of rejection, disappointment, and self-reliance. I reached out to my husband, a few family members, and close friends.

I was deeply concerned about my ex believing the children were still his. I also didn’t want to be accused of not updating our case file with the adoption information.

I prayed and let God’s peace soak into me.

He’s got me covered. Always.

I got up this morning, prayed once more, and reached out to a former family member. She shared that my ex is still in the rehab facility but on work release. I spoke with child support and our case is being update.

My ex-husband will finally know his children are no longer his.

So I pray.

I pray he can have a normal life.

 I pray the hounds of addiction have finally released their grip.

 I pray Jesus will meet him where he is and breathe hope and life.

 I pray the raging storm in his heart will calm.

 I pray one day he can feel the peace of Christ.


WE join you in this prayer Sarah!

Won’t you join us in praying for someone you love who is overcoming addiction and those that love them? 

Meet Sarah:

Wife to engineer, mom to 4 little monkeys, lover of words, encourager of women, redeemed by a Grace-giving God. Sarah is a stay-at-home mama and holds a Master’s Degree in Elementary Education.

Sarah blogs over at Redemption Diary.

You can find her being Social at the following:







About jennyandtammy

twin sisters. living abundantly. loving extravagantly. leading boldly. leaning deeply on Jesus.


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  • Sarah Travis

    Wow I can not imagine the heartache of all that Sarah has been through. I join her in praying for her family and for her ex-husband to be free from addiction and the pain of the past. Father, release him from the chains that once bound him and help him to grasp the new life that you long to give to him.
    Thank you for sharing Sarah’s story today.

    • Sarah Knepper

      Thank you for the prayer, Sarah!

  • kelly balarie

    You are a warrior Sarah. You are a victor Sarah. You have the power of Christ behind you. I love your story. Love you too. Thank you for joining the #RaRalinkup today with I love how you share the power of this story.

    • Sarah Knepper

      Thank you Kelly! Xoxo

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