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twin sisters. living abundantly. loving extravagantly. leading boldly. leaning deeply on Jesus.

Perseverance in Adoptive Parenting, Jenny Price

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UnknownWhat I learned in parenting my three oldest children, did not, and could not prepare me for parenting my youngest two.  Traditional parenting, raising kids from the ground up, from day one to day 6,570 – it’s easier.  It’s got obstacles and stickiness, but it’s a far cry from raising children who missed day one to day 1,095.

They didn’t “miss” it – they lived in it – with a momma, broken as she was, doing the best, being the most that she could be for them.  And it wasn’t enough.

The pain they suffered matters.  The daily grief they bear – it is a perseverance like no other.  They rarely speak of being adopted.  Resilience teaches many of us – grin and bear it.  Deal with today – ignore the past.  That’s their way of coping.  So, we allow them that space and time.

One day, they may speak more openly, ask more questions, want to know more – so they can trust themselves more – and even us more – and that is their choice.

The perseverance in parenting our twins has been beautiful and brutal.  It’s been clear how we grind up against our flesh and it’s been chaotic in our home.  Not every moment, not even every day – but in general – in adoption – we gave up normalcy and comfort.

We knew we would.  We wanted to live the gospel 24/7.  We’d been living it (what we thought it was) in ministry for over 13 years at that point.  Our older kids sacrificing alongside their pastoral parents.  Giving up traditional freedoms for seeking and “saving” the lost.

But when you choose to serve wholeheartedly – the broken –

in your home, in your hearts, in your deepest crevices – the brokenness of a past of pain for two littles – intersects and wrecks you and yours.

Grateful daily that this is our privilege – yes!

Wondering daily how life will spin and sit – yes!images-1

Living moment by moment – in total trust – and in falling fears – YES

These kiddos are not hellish – but the pain of their past – meeting our unknowing brains and minds and souls – that can be hell.

And it can be heavenly and glorious as well – hugely miraculous in ways that cannot be put into words.

There are a thousand lessons in parenting our adopted kids that I could share, but today, I’ll stick with far less:

What you think you might accomplish in “saving” the lives of adopted children – winds up saving you.  There’s no rescue mission in adoption.  The One and Only Rescuer does all that.  We simply create a safe place to caregive and promote healing.

Whilst we ride that river of white water, we get to see how desperately we need our Savior – to mold us and make us more like him, and less like our depraved selves.

What you think you might sacrifice in bringing children into your home will pale in comparison to the comforts you will release (and that you will resist releasing).  Neglecting our older children to parent the younger two.  Giving everything we’ve got – every morsel of our being – and still, healing may not happen for years and years.

Normalcy.  Over.

Comfort and Pleasure.  Historical.

Peace of mind that seemed easy to attain.  Completely harder to find rest in – even when He’s still right there, ready to give it.

That feeling of being Anchored and Grounded.  Huh?  What’s that?

WORTH IT? YES!

What you think will be possible in parenting will seem baffling and confusing.  What worked with our older kids bruised and busted up our littles even more.  How we did things before didn’t many anymore.  What mattered was learning what worked for that moment – for that falling apart child – for that screaming, seemingly hopeless hurt.

Parenting from a place of knowledge – yeah right?!?!? But Grace Digs Deeper and equips you for what seems unattainable otherwise.

What you think will be provided by others (in assistance and therapies) will come up short and leave you even more confused.  It’s not intentional that the system doesn’t provide what our kids need.  It’s the God of the Universe that has their backs anyways.

And help is needed.  Extra sideline support is a must.  It must be fought for, begged for, pioneered for. So that’s how we’ve braved it.  Fearfully and wonderfully and desperately – fought for our kids’ best.

It’s much like life.

In times of suffering and loss and searing grief, out God never falls short.

Just when we thought we couldn’t bear one more day, we can fall on Jesus, and He will pick us up.

When the clouds and fog seem darker and more blocking the clarity than ever before, you walk it out –

in Faith, in Hope, in Trust.

Because you see – God is not chaos.  He is not confusing.

He is not comfortable or normal.

imagesHe is a fierce Lion defending His Young.

He is a gentle Lamb nursing His Babes.

He is a Mighty Warrior – gone to battle ahead of us, on our behalf.

He is the One and Only, Creator, Sustainer – of this Universe – and of theirs.  

My Littles have a Lord and Savior – and it is not me.

And that simple truth has saved my life – saved my mind – saved my body from falling into the pits of hell.

THANK YOU to the community of believers (#TeamPrice) who have walked our journey these last 10 months – of putting one of our littles in a residential treatment for his attachment issues.  He’s healing.  We are healing.  He’s coming home four months early.  We’ve won our fight against Medicaid, who denied payment for his treatment – because he wasn’t suicidal or homicidal of smearing fecal matter on the walls – “that given day”.

We’ve witnessed a thousand miracles, and we anticipate a million more upon his homecoming.  We can’t wait to learn even more about perseverance – together.

If you’d like to follow our story more personally, friend request me on Facebook, and let me know you’d like to be added to my group page #TeamPrice.

Whatever the trial you face today, my earnest prayers is that you learn, open heartedly – perseverance pays off!  In Him Alone!

HOW MAY I PRAY FOR YOU?  Comment below, or on Facebook comments.

About jennyandtammy

twin sisters. living abundantly. loving extravagantly. leading boldly. leaning deeply on Jesus.

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