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When The Broken Home is Healing, Jenny Price

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What’s broken in your home?  Maybe the plumbing is leaking inside the whispering walls.  Maybe the foundation is cracking, right underneath your sturdy feet.  Maybe what’s broken can’t be seen through the outside veneer.

Maybe it’s when we tear all the barriers away, we get to see what needs mending.

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That’s what this last year has been.  A revealing.  An accounting.

A true sense of what had been “cracking” for months and months.  Secondary trauma.  Marriage battles that had never been before.  Tried and true and broken Momma.

The child trying so hard to be “enough”, unaware really of how there couldn’t be enough between our four walls – not for a time.

Broken places, broken moments, broken hearts, broken dreams – they don’t always know they’re broken.

The stories other families tell me about their RAD kids far exceed what our home has battled.

Strangling the dad in the home after harming all the siblings in secret (age 16).

Stabbing other children with pencils and threatening to kill both parents (age 6).

Making sure to break siblings’ favorite toys, sabotaging family trips, running away every night at 7pm, having to be held in assists by a brother, who otherwise would get the sh*! beat out of him (age 11).

In treatment for over four years, may never return home, feels way safer in controlled environments, even though parents are safe, they aren’t safe to him (age 13).

Arrested four times in five months, threatening to self harm even to the point of wanting to end her life – daily conversations about it (age 14).

Bash mom’s head in with a blunt object, from behind, because she’s the enemy after all (age 12).

Our story pales in comparison – and it’s our story.  It’s his story.  It’s our shared brokenness – carrying the weight of childhood pain and neglect – when the child can’t face what he’d rather bury – those secrets crack the foundation of who that child is, and in so doing, they break the families that most want to carry them home.

So, in the child’s cracked walls, broken plumbing, brain health waning, foundational truths unable to be accepted – like love, acceptance, safety – even when they’re there – they’re not really there at all. images-2

Our home is healing, and so is our boy.  It’s not a complete renovation.  No extreme makeover.  Some of the leaky pipes are sealed up, some are still dripping with secret pain.

The foundation has been filled with more cement and sturdy glue – secured with safety, glued with more love, but with enough stomping and resistance, it can crack again.

We all can you know.

And we can all heal too.

Not the healing that we see always.  Not the healing that we can touch.  Not necessarily the healing that we beg the Lord for – not in our version of time – not in our physical realm.

So, we stop measuring the damage.  Start celebrating the hope and it’s bright light.

We stop ignoring what we know might be cracking, and we confront it, with love, attunement, acceptance, with a belief that it can change – that he can change – that I can change – that we – together – all of us within these four walls, above this cracked and healing foundation – we are healing.

Whatever your family is walking through – there is another family that has walked before you – and they made it through that dark and dreary and dingy tunnel – the one you can’t even see the beginning of.

Whatever your marriage is battling – there is another marriage that has fought for the best – even when finding it meant waging war on the secrets.

Whatever that pain is within you – that’s so deep and raw and oozing and about to bust and burst and blow all over the walls around you – someone else has been there – someone else has broken just like you and they have been made whole again.

Whatever dream you have for your child that you just can’t believe any longer – whatever hope and prayer you’ve begged and pleaded – that child is His before he is yours.  Rest there.  Place the child there.  Hope and believe and breathe and be. still. and. know. that HE is God.

HOW IS YOUR HOME HEALING?  Share in comments below or on Facebook comments.

 

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twin sisters. living abundantly. loving extravagantly. leading boldly. leaning deeply on Jesus.

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